Sermon on Ephesians 5:22-33 Southwood 11 November 2007
By Rev Steve Stewart
Living A Life Worthy Of The Gospel
22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Saviour. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no-one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church-- 30 for we are members of his body. 31 "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." 32 This is a profound mystery--but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. [NIV]
INTRODUCTION: WHO ARE WE?
Before we get into the meat of chapter 5 verses 22-33 (and I'm sure we've noticed there's plenty to chew on in there!). First we need to remind ourselves of where this teaching comes from -it doesn't fall out of nowhere, but is set 5 chapters into Ephesians.
And to do this, we need to remind ourselves who we actually are. Just like footballers need special coaching for the game, or an accountant needs to learn how to read a balance sheet up; just as they need to be taught certain things because of who they are, so we need to be taught certain things because of who we are!
If we don't know who we are, we will have no idea why we are being taught certain things!
The reason the world rejects some of the teaching of God is partly because people believe they don't need it -any more than I need to be taught how to pole vault: I'm not an athlete, I don't need to be taught the skill! The training would be pointless! Neither do I get up at 5am to train for the games: I'm not an athlete!
Those who train for the games do some things who to the rest of us seem unusual, different and sometimes surprising. I remember seeing the breakfast of the famous super-heavyweight weightlifter Vasili Alexeyev -unbelievable: at least 25 fried eggs, a pound of bacon, etc, etc! Special food for a special athlete!
We need to see why it might just be the case that some (to us) that some surprising teaching is given to us. Who and what are we that God gives us the right -and sometimes surprising- food?
Let's have a fly through the first part of Ephesians and see what we discover?
o 'the faithful'
o 'the elect'
o 'chosen'
o 'adopted as sons'
o 'created in Christ Jesus'
o 'included in Christ'
o 'raised up with Christ'
o 'God's workmanship'
o 'fellow-citizens with God'
o 'a dwelling in which God lives'
o 'fellow-citizens with God's people and members of God's household'
So don't be surprised when God's teaching looks, well, surprising -when God's teaching doesn't instantly fit hand in glove with what the world around us teaches. Why should it? But whilst we can't be sure that the Bible's teaching is the same as the world's, what we can be sure of is that it is good and right and healthy food for God's people!
MARRIAGE: THE FIRST OF 3 RELATIONSHIPS OF CHS 5-6:
Now, thinking of ourselves as 'the elect' or the 'chosen' or 'raised up with Christ' and so on (which we are, but not because of anything we've done, but rather because Jesus has done the work for us -Christians can't boast about who we are!): thinking of ourselves like this sounds all very 'spiritual' and 'other worldly'. But whilst are to no longer live in the ways of the world (as Paul says in Ephesians 4 verse 17 ' you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking') -though we are no longer to live as the world lives, the fact is we find ourselves firmly entrenched in it! And God recognises this. He understands this. And this is why, at Ephesians chapter 5 verse 22 to 6 verse 9, he now goes on to address the three key relationships and areas of life in which the Christian, living in and part of this world, finds him- or herself: marriage, parents and children, and the workplace. What we are concerned with this morning is what the Bible says about wives and husbands -verses 22 to 33. And surely Paul now talks about our homes and family relationships because the church family - 'fellow-citizens with God's people and members of God's household'- [from Ephesians 2:19 -see last bullet-point above] is made up of real people who are in real family relationships: relationships which God created, and wants to continue and flourish in this life! Christianity is not some cult in which the leader is hell-bent on ruining family life: no, God wants to bless family life!
Let's have a close look at all this then:
22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church... 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
Be honest: it's not exactly the sort of thing you'd expect to find in the latest issue of Cosmopolitan magazine, now is it!?
This is a teaching in many ways alien to our Western culture. We are surely enlightened, and have rejected such (as the world sees it) oppressive teaching -just as the world seen the abuses of the slave trade and now believes the Bible has little to teach it about slavery. All I can say to that if the world had listened to the Word of God, they would never have filled the boats with people on the shores of West Africa to make them slaves in the first place! But today is about marriage.
But we are God's people, and 'fellow-citizens with God's people and members of God's household ' -if our households, the blood families that make up the people of God, are not living in a way pleasing to God, how can we expect the church to function properly and be pleasing to God?
22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church... 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
Firstly, who are these verses addressed to? The clue's in the first word! This is written to 'wives' -so, really, wives, you must decide in your own heart what this means: there is a sense in which, with me being a man and a husband, that this verse is not addressed to me (but I'll return to that point in a moment). In our household, when mail arrives on the doormat, some will be to Mr. or Revd S Stewart, whilst other post will be to Mrs A Stewart. Now guess which ones I open and read? I open the stuff addressed to me -yes, when it looks like a nice letter from an old friend, but also even when it's a brown envelope with 'HM Inland Revenue' written on it and says I owe £19.32 in tax for 2006/7!
I take responsibility for what is addressed to me, and Amanda (wonderful wife that she is) takes responsibility with what is addressed to her! This is just how it should be with Ephesians 5:22-33!
So, as a man and a husband, my eye might glance at verse 22, but very soon scan down to verse 25, which is addressed to 'husbands' -to ME!- to find out what God has to say to me. And what do I find:
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy ... 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
A huge and privileged responsibility. I have what I need to know. That my love for my wife should mirror for the world to see the love that Jesus had for the church, for us! A self-sacrificing love. This means that no longer can my every whim and fancy be indulged. The aim of my marriage is not my personal material, sexual, financial gratification. The purpose of my marriage is to be like Jesus incarnation here on earth: the purpose of Jesus' mission was not to satisfy Himself, but to love us, bless us and make us holy. And that therefore is my purpose for my wife, Amanda. It is the purpose of my marriage. And I do it by loving her! So, guys, that's the deal for the Christian husband.
Now, I said that as a man and a husband verses 22-24 were in a sense none of my business. This is true, but I am also a pastor-teacher whose job is to teach the whole word of God, so for me there is not 'get out of jail free' card on this one! I am compelled to teach on it!
22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church... 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
First, women, remember that Paul uses exactly the same reason for your submission (and we'll see what that words means in a moment) to your husbands as he has for husbands loving their wives. Although they appear the other way round her in Ephesians, your submission to your husband is based on what he is or should be doing for you -the order in the text is not surely that important. What do I mean?
Well, in verses 25-29, we see that the husband's purpose for his wife is to love her to the extent that she becomes more like Jesus in her nature (a mysterious process as Paul freely admits in verse 32!): the husband is being like Jesus to his wife; loving her so she can become pleasing to God. And what is the wife then to do? Well, she should submit to the loving will of her husband (verse 24) " as the church submits to Christ"! In short, if I am to be like Christ to Amanda my wife, then it won't work unless she is like the church to me!
Is the way Jesus behaves to the church oppressive and greedy, violent and cruel. Does Jesus oppress us, showing neither patience nor grace and mercy; does Jesus abuse his physical power against us? No! Neither should I be like this to my wife!
And should the church badmouth Jesus? Should we treat Jesus with contempt and constantly moan at Him when he doesn't do what we want when we want Him to? Do we stubbornly resist every will and teaching of Jesus? Do we belittle the name of Jesus to our friends? No! Neither should a wife treat her husband this way.
The husband is to be like Christ to his wife, and she is to be like the church to her husband. This is loving and submitting in a Christian marriage and this is pleasing to God.
In chapter 5 verse 10, Paul wrote: "10 find out what pleases the Lord"
Well, this is one of his answers! Incidentally, as a footnote, here in Ephesians Paul is surely addressing a Christian couple. Peter offers almost identical advice to wives in his first letter, but there the context also addresses the situation when the husband is not a believer:
1 Peter 3:1-2 "1Wives, ... be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behaviour of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives."
CONCLUSION:
Here in Ephesians 5:22-33 we have food from the Lord, good food, given to us because of who and what we are: the household, the adopted children of God Himself. Food, like the 25 fried eggs of Vasili Alexeev, which may seem surprising or unpalatable to the world, yet good and wholesome and satisfying for those who belong to God and are being made by God into (verse 27) " a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless".
Let's pray...
Rev Steve Stewart © 2007
*Scripture quotations taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Hodder & Stoughton, a member of the Hodder Headline Group. All rights reserved. "NIV" is a trade mark of International Bible Society. UK trademark number 1448790.